OUTBACK The Newsletter for Lesbians in Cornwall and the far South West of England.

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Dec 2005 Civil Partnership Ceremonies. You have done the romantic bit and popped the question, now you have to be practical and start organising your civil partnership ceremony... Whether it’s an intimate celebration with a few friends or a lavish extravaganza, it is a good idea to start by thinking about numbers – how many you want to invite and how much you want to spend. The average straight wedding last year cost £17,000. To work out how much you want to spend, walk through the day. For example, what are you going to wear, how are you going to get to the venue, do you want flowers, photography, music, what kind of food do you want, how much booze etc etc. If you want to cut costs you can ask friends to take the photos, arrange the flowers and find a venue that allows you to bring your own wine. Or if you don’t want the hassle of a DIY ceremony, you can hand over the planning to a wedding organiser or the co-ordinator at a licensed wedding venue. You can hold the ceremony either at a registry office or at a licensed wedding venue. These range from hotels to castles, ships to racecourses. Local venues that are promoting themselves as gay friendly include: The Fowey Hotel, Lostwithiel Hotel, Flicks (Pz), The Headland and Barrowfield Hotel Hotels in Newquay and St Mellion Hotel. Legally, you can hold the ceremony anywhere that has a wedding licence in the UK but you need to tell your local registry office at least 15 days in advance. To find out more about the legal side of things visit http://www.womenandequalityunit.gov.uk/lgbt/faq.htm In terms of planning the build up to the big day, it is a good idea to buy a diary for the event and work out a timetable of action. The first stage involves setting a date. Saturdays and summer dates are more expensive. You may need to book a year in advance for really popular dates. Once you have found a venue, check that the registrar is available before you pay a deposit. When you have to start paying deposits, consider wedding insurance. This will cover you for cancellations in case of illness, bereavement or other unforeseen circumstances. As soon as you’ve decided on numbers, you should buy your stationery and send out the invitations. When you send them out, tell guests about local guesthouse accommodation. You could probably negotiate a discount. If you want to go away after the civil partnership, start thinking about holiday destinations. Once these stages are complete, you need to work on the finer details of your plans this might include having rings made, ordering a wedding cake, choosing a gift list company etc. If you want to give people wedding favours - little gifts for them to take away, either order these or start making them. There are online stores that specialise in gay-themed favours. The next phase is deciding on the order of service for the day, for example, readings, music, speeches etc. You also need to print order of service sheets. In the run up to the big day, write any personalised wedding vows and book a rehearsal with the registrar. Think about any presents you want to give people who are helping you on the day. In the final month, chase up any unanswered invitations and if you are having a sit down meal, draw up a seating plan and write out place cards. Confirm final numbers with your venue and caterers. Double check with all your suppliers that everything is booked. Run through any jobs that you’ve asked friends or family to do on the day. Make hair appointments for the morning of your big day. Organise any pre-wedding party you might want. Don’t forget to collect your civil partnership licence. The day before your civil partnership ceremony, treat yourself to a massage or do something relaxing, rather than running round like a headless chicken! And on the day, itself just have a great time! Profile: Nicola Hill and Laura McCaffrey set up Gay Friendly Wedding Venues when they started looking for their own venue. Nicola says: “I emailed venues asking if they could reassure me that I would not experience any homophobia and found that some weren’t replying. I decided it was worth finding out who would welcome our business.” Since the site went live in July we have had over 500 advertisers sign up and over 100,000 hits. Nicola proposed to Laura on their 10th anniversary at the Temple of Dionysus just below the Acropolis in Athens. They are planning to hold a civil partnership ceremony in the Summer of 2006.   For a wide range of gay friendly wedding venues and services visit: http://www.gay-friendly-wedding-venues.com *Update! Government underestimates numbers of gay people who want to tie the knot. Before the Civil Partnership Act came into force, the Government estimated that 22,000 same sex couples would hold a ceremony over the next four years. In fact in the first three months, the Government's own statistics show that 6,516 gay men and lesbians tied the knot. Interestingly 4,311 were men and 2,205 were women. Nicola Hill, director of www.gay-friendly-wedding-venues.com says: "We always thought the Government was underestimating the numbers of gay people who would get married. At this rate, there may be more than 22,000 in the first year alone." Meanwhile, the first academic research into attitudes to civil partnerships shows 22 per cent have not invited their families to gay weddings. Professor Carol Smart at Manchester University interviewed 91 gay men and lesbians. Key findings include: The couples held a wide variety of ceremonies including Shamanic, Pagan, Christian and humanist. Many couples, their friends and families referred to their ceremonies as weddings and 'entering into marriage'. Half of the respondents hoped that legally recognised religious marriage would one day be available to same-sex couples. 22 per cent of individuals decided against inviting family members even though it was important for most of them. Few couples, however, met with hostility but some found that either friends or family could be reserved in their enthusiasm. Couples welcomed the Civil Partnership's legal protections but 80 per cent had already made wills to safeguard their partner. Same sex partners are embraced by family as sons rather as sons in law or as sisters rather than sister's in law. Nicola Hill adds: "Gay people want a wide range of functions from small, intimate occasions with a few friends to large weddings, where the couple dress up in 'traditional' wedding attire."   Contact: Kate (Newsletter Editor) - outbackcornwall@yahoo.co.uk or Sue (Website Editor) - sue@books4womyn.fsnet.co.uk Home Page / Adverts / Contact /Cornwall Events / Feedback / Gallery / Guest Book Health / Holidays / Helplines / Info / Links News / Quiz / Special Features Traders / Venues / Your Page   BACK